Even the most experienced PA or secretary can have a bad day. You sent the wrong email. The meeting link doesn’t work. Your boss’s presentation pointer dies even though you checked it before they left the office, and packed spare batteries, and somehow, it’s still your fault. Then that quiet voice that lives at the back of your head rears its ugly head, and starts to speak, “You’re rubbish at this job”, “That was such a stupid mistake to make”. Silently, you chastise yourself. These moments don’t define you. But they can rattle your confidence, and over time, those knocks can leave you doubting yourself.
The truth is that administrative professionals, like you, are the backbone of the workplace. You juggle logistics, conflicting personalities, last-minute changes, and a sea of expectations. When it all goes smoothly, nobody notices. But when something goes wrong, the spotlight lands firmly on you.
Let me say this clearly: confidence at work isn’t about being perfect. It’s about recognising your value, learning from the rough days, and remembering that one mistake doesn’t undo a career’s worth of good work.
Let me tell you a story. It’s a true story of a young lady who attended one of my training courses. Her boss had decided she was useless at her job and needed training to become a better PA. She broke my heart because, despite being fantastic at her job with checks and counterchecks in place, she doubted her skills. (Names have been changed for confidentiality.
When a Bad Boss Knocks Your Confidence at Work
Laura had worked as a senior PA for over ten years when she joined our PA and Secretary training course. Her boss, a senior executive with a temper, relied on her to manage high-level board meetings, prepare presentations, and handle the tech, despite having minimal IT skills himself. He would panic when he couldn’t find his mouse on the screen.
For one major presentation, she had prepared everything in the minutest details. She even checked the clicker in advance and popped in a fresh set of batteries for good measure. She packed a second set of batteries and put them in his Information pack along with his itinerary. The itinerary included details such as the pickup time from his house to the train station, the platform he needed to catch a train to London. He had step-by-step instructions on what he needed to do when he arrived in London. She even had the name of the driver who would collect him at Euston Train Station when he arrived. She had prepared everything.
Then it went wrong
Midway through the presentation, the clicker failed. He was furious. When he got back to the office and in front of everyone, he snapped, “Can you try doing your job properly for once?” Laura was devastated. She had done everything right. She was humiliated, then yelled at again in private. That night, she went home feeling like a failure. This left her feeling devastated and convinced that she couldn’t do her job correctly.
As with everything, there is often a knock-on effect of incidents like this. She had lost her confidence at work and started to make more mistakes. In the end, her boss insisted that she attend a training course to pick up the skills she needed to be a ‘decent PA’. This is where I met Laura. Laura came onto my course not because she lacked skills but because that one moment, that one man, had made her doubt herself. She didn’t need fixing; she needed reminding that she was brilliant.
Weeks later, I was told that she had found the courage to report the incident. HR investigated, and her boss received a written warning. He later left the department.
How Do You Rebuild Confidence at Work?
If you’ve had your own “Laura moment,” please know you are not alone. Confidence isn’t a constant. It rises and falls, especially when your work is so visible and often, so undervalued. Here are ten gentle but powerful ways to rebuild your confidence, based on real experiences and practical strategies.
1. Keep a Success Journal
Each day, write down a minimum of three things you did well that day. They don’t have to be monumental achievements. Maybe you juggled a busy diary successfully. Maybe you calmed a colleague under pressure. Perhaps you just kept it all together.
When doubt creeps in, and it will, your journal becomes a quiet but powerful reminder of how capable you really are. Never underestimate the power of a gentle reminder of how brilliant you are.
2. Own It… Then Let It Go
Mistakes happen. Own them. Apologise if needed. Then move on. There is no rule that says one slip-up wipes out ten years of good work. You are allowed to make mistakes; everyone does. You and your career are not a mistake.
3. Flip That Inner Critic
You wouldn’t tell a colleague or your best friend, “You’re rubbish” because a Zoom link failed, so why say it to yourself? You are just as crucial as your colleague or best friend. Instead, say, “I’m learning. I’m resilient. I handled that as best I could.”
Confidence is built one kind word at a time, especially when it’s from you to you. Whether you say it silently to yourself, out loud or have it written on a post-it note attached to your computer screen. Be kind to yourself and set expectations for yourself.
4. Don’t Swallow Toxic Feedback
Constructive feedback is valuable. Toxic comments are not. If your boss humiliates you, that’s not criticism, it’s bullying. Like Laura, you have options. Talk to HR. Speak to someone you trust. You deserve respect at work. Set your boundaries and don’t let anyone step over them. You are a valuable member of the workforce, and your job is just as important as your boss’s. Remember, without you, they couldn’t do half the work they do.
5. Surround Yourself with Support
Confidence thrives in a community. Join professional networks. Seek out positive colleagues. Join our myPA Business membership, where support, stories, and solidarity flow freely.
You are not alone. You never were.
6. Learn Something New
Sometimes, a drop in confidence is your brain’s way of nudging you to grow. Take a short course. Explore new software. Refresh your knowledge. Try our Confidence & Awareness course; it was built for people just like you. A small win can reignite your belief in what you bring to the table. You are more powerful than you realise.
7. Practice Saying No
It’s tempting to take on everything. But confidence grows when you set clear boundaries. Know what your boundaries are and be clear about them. You don’t want your boss to call you when you are on holiday or on a Sunday. If you are asked to do a task that will take hours to complete and you’re already stacked, try saying, “I’m fully booked this morning. Can we review this this afternoon?”
Be Polite, professional, empowering and use your big girl voice. Practice saying NO, practice saying I will but…
8. Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t stop the internet from crashing or your boss being in a mood. But you can manage how you respond. Your boss doesn’t live in your head; they don’t pay rent, so don’t let them in. Their bad mood, their mistakes are not yours.
Breathe. Stay calm. You’ve handled worse.
9. Ask for Real Feedback
Don’t wait for your annual appraisal. Ask someone you trust: “What do you think I did well in that meeting? Is there anything I could improve?” The right feedback builds confidence and is a fantastic learning tool. Feedback is not to be feared. It’s the starting point of you becoming better than you are right now.
10. Be Kind to Yourself
If your best friend came to you in tears over a mistake, you wouldn’t tear them down. You’d listen and remind them of their worth, of how good they are. You deserve the same compassion from yourself. Speak kindly. Treat yourself gently. Celebrate your wins, even if it is getting through a tough day. You deserve it.
Final Thoughts: Confidence at Work isn’t a trait, it’s a Practice
The world of administration isn’t easy. You’re often expected to be invisible until something goes wrong. But here’s the truth: your role matters. You matter. Confidence at work isn’t something you’re either born with or without. It’s something you build, one moment at a time.
If you’ve had a knock, take the next step. Explore our Confidence & Awareness Course. It’s here for you, just like we are.
More importantly, remember that you are not broken, you are not failing, and you are brilliant. You are just getting started.
In the bustling world of Personal Assistants (PAs), secretaries and administrators, success often hinges on more than just technical know-how. The subtle, people-focused skills set exceptional professionals apart from those who turn up. There are many skills, but the chief one is “active Listening”. A skill that is often misunderstood, undervalued and certainly underestimated. As a professional businesswoman or man, it is invaluable for you to build trust, improve your communication, and boost your efficiency. This is where Active Listening comes into its own.
Whether managing schedules, taking the minutes of a meeting, or handling sensitive communications, mastering active listening can transform how you work and how others perceive you. In this post, we’ll explore what active listening is, why it matters, and how to practice it effectively. After all, you are the go-to person in your organisation—the person who knows what is happening and how to make your boss, department, and company fly.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is more than just hearing the words someone says. It’s about being fully present, understanding the message, and responding thoughtfully. It involves paying attention to what’s being said and how it’s being said, recognising tone, body language, and emotions. Suppose you think about this if a friend comes to you for advice. They have something very important to discuss with you. Typically, you pay attention to what they are saying. You listen to every word, every facial expression and body movement. They could be breaking up with their partner or making a life decision, but you are there for them. In the blink of an eye, you look at your watch, and three hours have passed. That is active listening. Paying total attention to what is being discussed.
Why is Active Listening Important for PAs and Secretaries?
In a working environment, active listening is just as critical. This is where your work colleagues see your professionalism and efficiency and how exceptional you are. Active listening will:
Strengthening Relationships: Active listening builds trust. People in your life want to be heard. Your boss, colleagues or associates want to feel important in the workplace. They want to feel heard and understood. They’re more likely to rely on you and value your input if you can demonstrate you listen to them, understand their concerns, and provide solutions. This trust fosters stronger professional relationships and enhances your credibility.
Minimising Errors: Miscommunication can lead to costly mistakes. By actively listening, you ensure you capture all details accurately, whether it’s a meeting agenda, an important deadline, or a complex project brief. This also lends itself to Reflective Listening, a skill just as important as active listening.
Enhancing Productivity – Effective listening helps you prioritise tasks and address critical issues without constant clarification. This leads to smoother workflows and saves valuable time for everyone.
Improving Conflict Resolution – In moments of disagreement or tension, active listening helps de-escalate emotions and find common ground. Understanding all perspectives makes it easier to propose solutions that satisfy everyone.
How to Practice Active Listening
Becoming an active listener takes intentional effort and practice. Here’s how you can develop this skill:
Be Present – Put distractions aside. Close unnecessary tabs, silence your phone and focus solely on the person speaking. Eye contact and open body language signal that you’re fully engaged.
Listen Without Interrupting – Let the speaker finish before responding. Interrupting can make them feel undervalued and may lead to missing critical information.
Taking Notes – Note-taking is a cornerstone of PA, secretary, and administrator roles. Jot down key points, deadlines, and follow-up actions as you listen. This reinforces your understanding and ensures nothing slips through the cracks.
Ask Clarifying Questions – If something isn’t clear, ask. For example, “Can you elaborate on the timeline for this project?” or “Did I understand correctly that the deadline is Friday?”
Paraphrase and Summarize—Reflect on what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding. For instance, “So, you’re saying we need to prioritise the client’s report over the team meeting prep, correct?”
Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues – Notice tone, pace, and body language. These often reveal as much, if not more, than words themselves.
Practice Empathy – Active listening isn’t just about understanding information; it’s about connecting with people. Acknowledge their emotions with phrases like, “I can see why that’s challenging,” to show you’re attuned to their perspective.
Common Barriers to Active Listening (And How to Overcome Them)
Even with the best intentions, barriers to active listening can arise. Here’s how to tackle them:
Distractions: Distractions are everywhere, from ringing phones to incoming emails. Prioritise the conversation by setting boundaries, such as a “do not disturb” policy during essential discussions.
Prejudgments: Having a discussion with preconceived outcomes or conclusions can cloud your listening ability. Approach every discussion with an open mind, ready to learn.
Information Overload: PAs and secretaries handle a lot of information. If you’re overwhelmed, focus on the important points and clarify details later.
Multitasking – Tackling multiple tasks simultaneously is tempting, but authentic active listening requires your full attention. Dedicate time to conversations, and you’ll see the benefits in accuracy and rapport.
How Active Listening Elevates Your Career
For PAs, secretaries, and administrators, active listening isn’t just a soft skill—it’s a career catalyst. By becoming a reliable communicator, you show leadership and problem-solving abilities, making you indispensable in your role. Colleagues and executives will notice your ability to understand their needs, anticipate challenges, and deliver results. Over time, this reputation can lead to promotions, increased responsibilities, and recognition as a vital team member.
Quick Tips for Everyday Practice
Before a meeting, take a few moments to clear your mind and focus
During conversations, resist the urge to jump to solutions immediately, listen first
After interactions, review your notes and follow up to reinforce your understanding.
In Conclusion
Active listening is more than just a skill; it’s a mindset. For PAs, secretaries, and administrators, mastering this art can unlock additional levels of efficiency, trust, and career growth. By practising active listening daily, you’ll excel in your role and inspire those around you to communicate and collaborate better.
Bookmark this guide, and let it be your go-to resource for building more robust, meaningful connections in the workplace. Remember, the best communicators are often the best listeners. Will you take the first step today?
Have you heard of the term CPD? Do you know what it means, and, more importantly, do you know what it involves?
CPD stands for Continued Personal/Professional Development. In short, it means that you continue to study after you finish school, college or graduate from university. There are a number of professions that, once you achieve a pass mark in the basic qualifications, will be the start of a lifetime of study, for example, a solicitor, a doctor or a planner. What about your profession? Do you need to embark on CPD?
If your profession does not demand Continued Professional Development, have you made the decision to discontinue studying? To have a successful career, we advocate a continued approach to education/studies. Continued Professional Development is there to help you excel in your chosen field. CPD will also keep you abreast of the latest trends, legal changes and current business relationships, which ultimately could give you an advantage over your colleagues.
Education never stops
Making a personal decision to continue your education/studies and improve your knowledge in your chosen field may become a prerequisite for your employment. An example of this is the IT Industry. Information Technology is changing all the time and good developers, support staff and programmers need to keep abreast of current technology, languages and innovations. If you decided to terminate your studies, this could have a detrimental effect on your career.
Once you have made the decision to continue with your education, what should you do? There are a number of organisations that can facilitate your education. The only decision you need to make will be, which route suits your personal circumstances:
Online training courses
Studies in a classroom setting – often given by trade bodies
Correspondence courses
Seminars and Open days
Trade Federations
Professional Magazines in a chosen field
What is CPD for your occupation?
You could be in an occupation where CPD is not required. Nevertheless, this does not mean that further study is not for you. It could be advantageous for you to engage in a study course with a local college or night class in one of the hobbies you enjoy for example, cooking or sewing. Furthermore, you could learn a new skill, for example, car maintenance.
Further, more studying has a number of wonderful side effects. You could meet new people, gain skills and, more importantly, keep your brain active. Indeed, the Alzheimer’s community have suggested that keeping your brain active could help prevent many mind degenerative disease.
All studying requires is your dedication to the course, you will be receptive to new concepts, your time and the drive to become successful.
The term firewall is thrown about by those in the know about computer security, but what is it?
In the most general of terms, a firewall is a defence measure that your computer uses in an effort to protect itself from unwanted programmes and outside access to your computer. Think of it as a kind of filter that guards you against the dangers of the internet.
How does a Firewall work?
A firewall works by comparing information to a set of rules. For instance, if a website or online (more…)
When you think of a PA or a Secretary, you immediately think of someone organised, who is ultra-efficient and has their hand on the heartbeat of the department or their Boss’s Day. In effect, being proactive. Being Proactive is management speech stating that ‘a person is creating or controlling a situation rather than just responding to it after it has happened’. (more…)
During your appraisal or work performance interview, you may be asked to set some SMART Objectives or goals for your future development within the company or department. Goal setting is of particular importance for a PA and Secretary if you want a promotion to become an Executive PA. When setting goals, it is always advisable to ensure that the goals set are easy to understand and attainable by you. However, the goals should also tax you and ensure that you stretch your current skill base to learn something new.
Welcome to our online magazine from Julie and the team. If you have been on one of Julie’s training courses, you know she is passionate about PA, EAs and Secretaries being the best they can be. She also has very strong opinions about what a PA, EA and Secretary should and shouldn’t do. If you have a question, or would like to add an article, please get in touch. We would love to hear from you.
