Confidence at Work: Rebuilding After a Tough Day
Even the most experienced PA or secretary can have a bad day. You sent the wrong email. The meeting link doesn’t work. Your boss’s presentation pointer dies even though you checked it before they left the office, and packed spare batteries, and somehow, it’s still your fault. Then that quiet voice that lives at the back of your head rears its ugly head, and starts to speak, “You’re rubbish at this job”, “That was such a stupid mistake to make”. Silently, you chastise yourself. These moments don’t define you. But they can rattle your confidence, and over time, those knocks can leave you doubting yourself.
The truth is that administrative professionals, like you, are the backbone of the workplace. You juggle logistics, conflicting personalities, last-minute changes, and a sea of expectations. When it all goes smoothly, nobody notices. But when something goes wrong, the spotlight lands firmly on you.
Let me say this clearly: confidence at work isn’t about being perfect. It’s about recognising your value, learning from the rough days, and remembering that one mistake doesn’t undo a career’s worth of good work.
Let me tell you a story. It’s a true story of a young lady who attended one of my training courses. Her boss had decided she was useless at her job and needed training to become a better PA. She broke my heart because, despite being fantastic at her job with checks and counterchecks in place, she doubted her skills. (Names have been changed for confidentiality.
When a Bad Boss Knocks Your Confidence at Work
Laura had worked as a senior PA for over ten years when she joined our PA and Secretary training course. Her boss, a senior executive with a temper, relied on her to manage high-level board meetings, prepare presentations, and handle the tech, despite having minimal IT skills himself. He would panic when he couldn’t find his mouse on the screen.
For one major presentation, she had prepared everything in the minutest details. She even checked the clicker in advance and popped in a fresh set of batteries for good measure. She packed a second set of batteries and put them in his Information pack along with his itinerary. The itinerary included details such as the pickup time from his house to the train station, the platform he needed to catch a train to London. He had step-by-step instructions on what he needed to do when he arrived in London. She even had the name of the driver who would collect him at Euston Train Station when he arrived. She had prepared everything.
Then it went wrong
Midway through the presentation, the clicker failed. He was furious. When he got back to the office and in front of everyone, he snapped, “Can you try doing your job properly for once?” Laura was devastated. She had done everything right. She was humiliated, then yelled at again in private. That night, she went home feeling like a failure. This left her feeling devastated and convinced that she couldn’t do her job correctly.
As with everything, there is often a knock-on effect of incidents like this. She had lost her confidence at work and started to make more mistakes. In the end, her boss insisted that she attend a training course to pick up the skills she needed to be a ‘decent PA’. This is where I met Laura. Laura came onto my course not because she lacked skills but because that one moment, that one man, had made her doubt herself. She didn’t need fixing; she needed reminding that she was brilliant.
Weeks later, I was told that she had found the courage to report the incident. HR investigated, and her boss received a written warning. He later left the department.
How Do You Rebuild Confidence at Work?
If you’ve had your own “Laura moment,” please know you are not alone. Confidence isn’t a constant. It rises and falls, especially when your work is so visible and often, so undervalued. Here are ten gentle but powerful ways to rebuild your confidence, based on real experiences and practical strategies.
1. Keep a Success Journal
Each day, write down a minimum of three things you did well that day. They don’t have to be monumental achievements. Maybe you juggled a busy diary successfully. Maybe you calmed a colleague under pressure. Perhaps you just kept it all together.
When doubt creeps in, and it will, your journal becomes a quiet but powerful reminder of how capable you really are. Never underestimate the power of a gentle reminder of how brilliant you are.
2. Own It… Then Let It Go
Mistakes happen. Own them. Apologise if needed. Then move on. There is no rule that says one slip-up wipes out ten years of good work. You are allowed to make mistakes; everyone does. You and your career are not a mistake.
3. Flip That Inner Critic
You wouldn’t tell a colleague or your best friend, “You’re rubbish” because a Zoom link failed, so why say it to yourself? You are just as crucial as your colleague or best friend. Instead, say, “I’m learning. I’m resilient. I handled that as best I could.”
Confidence is built one kind word at a time, especially when it’s from you to you. Whether you say it silently to yourself, out loud or have it written on a post-it note attached to your computer screen. Be kind to yourself and set expectations for yourself.
4. Don’t Swallow Toxic Feedback
Constructive feedback is valuable. Toxic comments are not. If your boss humiliates you, that’s not criticism, it’s bullying. Like Laura, you have options. Talk to HR. Speak to someone you trust. You deserve respect at work. Set your boundaries and don’t let anyone step over them. You are a valuable member of the workforce, and your job is just as important as your boss’s. Remember, without you, they couldn’t do half the work they do.
5. Surround Yourself with Support
Confidence thrives in a community. Join professional networks. Seek out positive colleagues. Join our myPA Business membership, where support, stories, and solidarity flow freely.
You are not alone. You never were.
6. Learn Something New
Sometimes, a drop in confidence is your brain’s way of nudging you to grow. Take a short course. Explore new software. Refresh your knowledge. Try our Confidence & Awareness course; it was built for people just like you. A small win can reignite your belief in what you bring to the table. You are more powerful than you realise.
7. Practice Saying No
It’s tempting to take on everything. But confidence grows when you set clear boundaries. Know what your boundaries are and be clear about them. You don’t want your boss to call you when you are on holiday or on a Sunday. If you are asked to do a task that will take hours to complete and you’re already stacked, try saying, “I’m fully booked this morning. Can we review this this afternoon?”
Be Polite, professional, empowering and use your big girl voice. Practice saying NO, practice saying I will but…
8. Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t stop the internet from crashing or your boss being in a mood. But you can manage how you respond. Your boss doesn’t live in your head; they don’t pay rent, so don’t let them in. Their bad mood, their mistakes are not yours.
Breathe. Stay calm. You’ve handled worse.
9. Ask for Real Feedback
Don’t wait for your annual appraisal. Ask someone you trust: “What do you think I did well in that meeting? Is there anything I could improve?” The right feedback builds confidence and is a fantastic learning tool. Feedback is not to be feared. It’s the starting point of you becoming better than you are right now.
10. Be Kind to Yourself
If your best friend came to you in tears over a mistake, you wouldn’t tear them down. You’d listen and remind them of their worth, of how good they are. You deserve the same compassion from yourself. Speak kindly. Treat yourself gently. Celebrate your wins, even if it is getting through a tough day. You deserve it.
Final Thoughts: Confidence at Work isn’t a trait, it’s a Practice
The world of administration isn’t easy. You’re often expected to be invisible until something goes wrong. But here’s the truth: your role matters. You matter. Confidence at work isn’t something you’re either born with or without. It’s something you build, one moment at a time.
If you’ve had a knock, take the next step. Explore our Confidence & Awareness Course. It’s here for you, just like we are.
More importantly, remember that you are not broken, you are not failing, and you are brilliant. You are just getting started.
